When failure is a good fruit - Breaking up fallow ground (part I)

My last post was Tuesday May 16th.

It’s been four weeks since my last post.

Three Tuesdays have gone by that I did not post.

When I began this process of blogging, I had made it my goal to post every Tuesday for one year.

I have failed my goal. Not just one time, or two times, but three times in a row.

Three strikes and you’re out. Right?

I shouldn’t even bother with this blog at all now. Right?

“Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.” Proverbs 16:3

I had fully committed this work to the LORD; so, according to the standards set by myself, by all appearances, have my plans been established?

Pre-spring cleaning I would have been doing whatever it took to make sure, if not every Tuesday, at least every week I would have forced a post out.

Whatever it takes to demonstrate my commitment, to establish my plan, to prove myself reliable and dependable.

Are you seeing what I’m seeing? Do you hear what I hear?

MY…MY…MYSELF

At what cost to others, to my LORD and Master, have I kicked against the goads in the past to glorify and serve myself?

Some of the things I’ve identified as weights, hindrances, what’s holding me back from living the life of good works the LORD has already purposed and prepared for me have been: my determination, my perseverance, my drive, and my ‘grit’.

(I’m defining ‘grit’ by the little bit I’ve read about Angela Duckworth’s book, ‘Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. I have never read the book itself, so I might be destroying what she really says. I’m also defining ‘grit’ by Google: fortitude, resolve, endurance, tenacity, moxie)

“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.” Proverbs 19:12

Pre-spring cleaning Emily misapplied, misunderstood how her ‘work’ is not the same as her ‘plan’.

Pre-spring cleaning Emily in viewing her ‘work’ and ‘plan’ as basically the same thing made her miss where ‘purpose’, intention, or ‘heart’s desire’ came into all this.

I have been exalting the work, the plan or method I use to accomplish the purpose, or the end; when what’s really important, what’s essential is the purpose, the end, the why.

I’ve also been exalting myself, the tool, the conduit.

When I purge out these idols of methods and myself, then I’m able to see more clearly God’s purpose, God’s plan, God’s way. I’m able to be still, learn to rest and be refreshed by beholding, gazing upon, meditating on God’s love, God’s sovereignty, God’s wisdom.

Here is a perfect example of ‘weights’, not sins, but hindrances from running this race in God’s strength and endurance. These can be good things, but only when used rightly, in the hands of God. These hindrances also distract, blind, and block our view of our true source of strength and power. (Hebrews 12:1-2, “…let us lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus…”)

My spring cleaning has now morphed into breaking up fallow ground.

I’ve found that cleaning, decluttering, simplifying is just the tip of the iceberg, or like pealing off the top layers of an onion. The deeper I go, the more deeply I realize I need to go.

Tuesday, May 30th I began a ten-week Bible study/counseling program for healing. My counselor/friend/sister-in-Christ shared with me Hosea 10:12, “…break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the LORD…”.

I’ve always loved the parable of the soils, Matthew 13:1-9, 18-23. God gives the good soil. Part of cultivating the plant or tree so that it continues bearing good fruit in season is pruning the branches, but I’ve neglected to consider the fact that the good soil needs to be nourished, nurtured, maintained to be good soil so that the weeds and thorns don’t choke it out.

Pruning is a regular necessity. Breaking up the ground is a regular necessity.

Breaking up your fallow ground has been taught in the church under different phrases. I’m typically far behind in these things, but ‘deconstructing your faith’ seems to still be the phraseology of choice. When I was in junior high through college, it was ‘making your faith your own’ or ‘owning your faith’. Perhaps before that was the emphasis on having a ‘personal relationship with Jesus’.

Scripture puts it many different ways too: ‘examine’, ‘work out’, ‘strive’, ‘test’, ‘prove’, ‘grow’, ‘build’, 'press on', 'exercise', 'practice'.

But for now, I’m going to meditate on and pray through:

“Sow for yourselves righteousness;

reap steadfast love;

break up your fallow ground,

for it is time to seek the LORD,

that He may come and rain righteousness upon you.

You have plowed iniquity;

you have reaped injustice;

you have eaten the fruit of lies.

…you have trusted in your own way and in the multitude of your warriors…”

Hosea 10:12-13

- For God’s glory alone (‘the purpose of the LORD’ which will stand, & my ‘plans’ which will be established)